my grandma feinted when she was on a stool and fell and hit her head. she's okay i think, but she is in the hospital. she fractured her cheek bone and her tooth went through her lip. she had to get stitches and is getting a cat scan. i'm worried and upset, and although i had a decent day, i've been in a funk since thursday and this isn't helping much for my mood.

why does everything have to happen at once? why can't lifes little mishaps and disappointments and accidents be spaced out instead of all at once. or is it better this way, so we only have pockets of unhappiness as opposed to perputual grief. does this allow for more times that we can be purely satisfied with life, this sacrifice of difficulties and trials?

i guess its at these times where we find out who we really are. how we deal with the pain and the turbulance in our life determines who we are as a person. well i can say this much. if we are to be judged by how we act in these kinds of circumstances, i fail horribly and am not nearly the person i wish to be. i feel weak. there are so many people who are worse off than myself. i should be grateful for what i have, because i am so fortunate, but i'm not. and i don't understand why. my new goal is to be content with the way things are at this moment. here and now.

In the words of Jonathan Livingston Seagull:
I WANT TO FLY!